It's So Weird...

I'm sitting in my room. On my bed. In one spot.

I'm not moving. I'm so restless. I'm moving but I can't move. I'm bursting with energy but have nothing to expend it on. I... I don't know what to do with myself.

I want to run, I want to dance and jump six feet in the air. I want to scream till my voice gives out. I want to write. I want to sing. I want to wear nice clothes and pose for magazines. I want to know who I am and what I want. I want to laugh and mean it. I want to do what I need to do.

Music doesn't please me anymore, food is just a temporary plug for the gap within... there is no pleasure... no pleasure...

I want to, have to, need to... move.

But the futility... the nothingness of it all weighs on me so heavily. I can't move.